It’s been really difficult writing
this entry about my-self. I’ve been
thinking about how I would even start writing about my weight loss journey
because it’s not been an easy one. So I’ll start from the beginning. When I was
a kid I never had issues with being overweight I was always a skinny little
girl and I stayed like that all through grammar, middle, and even high school.
I never had to worry about looking great in my clothes or having to deal with
mean kids in school making fun of me cause of my weight. When high school ended
I started dating Ron and that’s pretty much when the weight gain started. I
would never blame him for it but then you are young and fall in love the pounds
start adding on. All we both wanted to do was hang out with each other, eat
pizza and junk food all the time. There was no eating healthy or being active.
Slowly through the years I started
getting heavier and heavier. Size 10 went to a 13, then 13 went to a 18. We
were both out of control with our eating. When we both moved in together it was
a sitting on the couch watching T.V. or playing computer games and eating junk
all day every day. Was it awesome, sure it was! Did I like the way I looked?
No. It felt like I was wearing a heavy suit. I did not look like my-self or feel like
my-self. Nothing fit and going to the stores and trying on clothes was the
worst. I would try on jeans and just cry
in the dressing room. I would storm out with tears in my eyes pissed off at
my-self. When Ron and I planned to get
married we both jumped on the “getting fit for the wedding” bandwagon. We
joined a gym and both got personal trainers. I hated it, I tried and failed. I
did not lose a size or a pound. It was so hard to focus on planning a wedding
and working out/eating right. I put the blame on my-self because I did not have
the willingness to change my life.
We got married on Nov 7th
2009. It was a beautiful wedding, but Ron and I were at our heaviest. I look at
those photos today and think “oh my god”. As time went on I continued to do
nothing about my weight. I went into a depression where I would just stay in
bed and cry. Cry about how I hated myself. How I hated the way I looked, that I
was “fat” and how could Ron love and want to be with me? How could he think I
was attractive now when he knew how I used to look? I could not even look in
the mirror, I hated my body, hated everything I became. This was not me. I knew
I had to do something because my weight was just getting out of control and I
really wanted to be happy again.
During the end of 2010 I decided to
finally make a serious decision about doing a total life change. I went back to
the gym and started eating healthy. It was extremely hard! There was nothing
easy about getting your ass to the gym and to top it off eating healthy! Oh my
god! But it was working 10 pound lost then 20 and so on. During the summer of 2011, I started to add
running into my routine. One of the best things I’ve ever done. That winter I
signed up for my first 5k. I ran and completed the Santa Hustle. In January I
completed the 5k Polar Dash in snowy cold Chicago! In May of 2012 I completed
my first obstacle mud race called the Spartan Sprint.
My start weight was 190 lbs I’m
currently at 143. My jeans were an 18 now I’m a 10. All shirts went from a
large/extra large to a size medium. Everyone from my family, friends and
co-workers complement me on a daily basis. What a feeling it is!! Even going
and trying on clothes is a breeze. I can go into a clothing store find my size
and it fits and I look and feel great!
I really have no goal weight; I would make
mini goals and work to complete them. I’m still going, pushing myself every
day. This is probably the hardest thing
I’ve ever done in my life, and it’s not easy. There is no magic pill or fad
diet I was on. It’s pretty amazing what you can accomplish when you have the
dedication and will power. Thank you for reading!
Raquel
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